Hate Mail 6/I’m a pirate

I have a policy that if you’re going to write me hate mail or mail that is otherwise condescending, disrespectful, or harassing, I will share it on social media. So far I’ve kept it to Twitter and Facebook but I have tumblr at my disposal too so why not! Welcome to hate mail-sterpiece theatre, where I ridicule and identify the people who feel that writing me to insult me is a good use of their time.

Today we have Thomas Pickman, who can’t tell me why my writing is “terrible” other than to say that I’m gross-looking and a cunt. Because calling me a “cunt” means anything to me and my appearance has literally any bearing on my ability to write. OK.

As I tend to do with the people who harass me, I looked up Tom’s IP address. Turns out he sent these eloquent e-mails from his phone way the fuck out in the middle of nowhere in Chino Hills, because apparently he can’t stand to take a weekend trip without taking a few minutes to harass a woman online.

I’d like you to note the timestamp on the e-mails: 11:24 and 11:28. It took him at least four minutes to compose these works of Shakespearean beauty. Compare that with the timestamps on his visit to my web site:

11:14:00 and 11:14:10. So let’s examine this: He saw my 38 Things article. He decided he didn’t like it and clearly didn’t read to the end. He went to my web site, spent all of 10 seconds there, and then spent the next 14 minutes composing hate mail to me.

Ratio of time evaluating an author’s work to time spent composing poorly-written e-mails to that author: 1:84

YOU ARE SO SMART TOM I SHOULD TOTALLY LISTEN TO YOU AND STOP WRITING AND HIDE IN A HOLE.

-Fin-

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  1. rebeccavipondbrink posted this